It’s 10PM (China time) and in two more hours I’ll be 21 years old. I don’t what’s wrong with me but I always feel bad and sad in my birthday. Having another birthday means God loves you that He still gives you a chance to live another year and I know I should be grateful and happy about it, well I am happy and I am grateful, but there’s just a small part of me that feels bad and sad. It’s my 4th birthday in china, and every year’s pretty much the same but that’s not the problem. The problem is I keep thinking about, “what I’ve done? What I’ve accomplished? What am I doing these 20 years?”. Yeah those questions always come and wait to be answered. Is it normal to feel that way? I don’t know God knows the answer.
I was in a bad place before I met you. I was in my secret hiding place, escaped from the reality and the truth I couldn’t accept. But then you came and changed my life completely. Encouraging me to do things I was so afraid to do it. You made me experiencing things I never knew before, things I only saw in the movies, things that other girls could never give me, things only you can do it.
I know I didn’t make a good first impression on you but you did, even though the first time I saw you, you were drunk really bad but you’re still cool, I think you’re the coolest person I have ever met. You’re wearing that leopard printed shirt and shoes that night. You were enjoying that night with your friends who I never know before and I was too shy to talk because it was our first time seeing each other, so I was just sitting and watching you dancing wildly which kinda turned me on a bit.
I know that we know each other not for a long time and we only spent like 4 nights hanging out together. I wished we could spend more time together but unfortunately we only had a week of holiday. I remember the time you asked to come to where you live but I couldn’t make it for some reasons then you decided to come to me and spend a week here. I was so excited when you said that, I got this kind of excitement I never had before.
God !!! I really want to write it all down here but it’s too long it crazes me just by thinking about it. I just want you to know that I never met a person like you in my life. I’m obsessed and in love with you at the same time. “You make me want to be a better man”.
God imma tattoo your name on my chest !!!